You know and I know that best friends are close; they are intimate; they share their feelings, their needs, their problems. They seek an ear that is bent their way, a mind that is open and receptive, a shoulder that is broad and strong, a heart that is sincere and outgoing and truly concerned. Best friends seek wise counsel and advice from each other. They keep one another up to date with what is transpiring in their respective lives.
Think of how this can and should apply to your own personal relationship with God. Begin to seriously determine whether or not these attributes of a best friend are truly applicable to your standing with the Father in heaven. It is so true that most, if not all of us, just simply take our relationship with God for granted. In so many cases, it is actually based far more on Biblical facts and figures, or on certain church associations or particular human relationships with brethren. While all of these things may be good, they cannot and must never form the foundation of a genuine relationship with God. That kind of connection is built squarely on the absolute reality of the indwelling Christ -- perhaps I could even say, on the degree of that reality that is present in your life or mine.
How many times do the Scriptures literally invite us to come close to God. "Enter you into His presence," David often says; or as in Psalms 73:28:
"For lo, they that are far from You shall perish ... it is good for me to draw near to God." (Psalms 73:28)
In the New Testament, the apostle James simply puts it this way:
"Draw near unto God, and He will draw near unto you" (James. 4:8).
I'm afraid that it is a fact that the vast majority of God's own people never fully enter into the Father's house. We may hear the invitation; we may open the door and stand there looking in, but we are so often either unable or unwilling to come all the way in and close the door behind us. In other words, we say that we desire a relationship with God, but what we really mean is that we want an association that is established on our terms. We prefer it be kept at arm's length. True closeness and oneness and intimacy are things we tend to shy away from. That makes us feel uncomfortable, perhaps even trapped; so we leave the door open in case we have to make a quick getaway!
After all, consider the reasons why we always close the door behind us when we enter into a friend's home. First of all, it is courteous. It shows respect for the person and his property. Next, it shuts out unwanted sights and sounds, distractions that would disrupt the personal rapport of being with a true friend. It also keeps out the elements (heat, cold, rain, etc.). In other words, it adds to and guarantees comfort -- an atmosphere conducive to good conversation and enjoyable times. It is a sign too of intimacy, of privacy, of a desire to be with and communicate with the other person.
When we only stand in the doorway of God's house, we really are indicating that our relationship with Him is not yet full and mature. It has not progressed to that of a Friend. Friends always come on in and shut the door behind them. Brethren, hear what I am saying to you. The world in which we live today is quite simply too dangerous and deceptive for us not to take the next step and truly enter into our Father's house. It is high time that we fully admitted and put aside forever the fact that we generally tend toward a more shallow relationship with God, rather than the deep, profound, personal link of true best friend to true best Friend. It is only when we become willing to put aside our individual considerations, indeed our attachment to and fondness for the things of the world, of this life, that we can begin to really be brought into the kind of close, intimate relationship that God desires for us.
We absolutely must ALLOW the Father and Son to come into the home that is our inner life -- to eat with us, commune with us, relax with us, confide in us, walk with us. And it works both ways -- the door to the very Holy of Holies is open. God has made that a certainty through the very death of Jesus Christ. We can truly enter in -- not as a trembling, groveling slave, but as a beloved child and true best friend to the God who made us and sacrificed everything for us. Our Father deeply desires that we know Him even as we are known by Him -- but the key word in this entire discussion is DESIRE! We must want this kind of relationship, and we must seek it. In so many cases, God remains abstract, conceptual, vague, ethereal, removed, distant. Oh, people believe in Him; but they have not yet truly entered into His very home, sat down, ate a meal with Him and openly, honestly and easily communed with Him as friend to Friend.
God doesn't want a bunch of fearful, guilt-ridden mice who scurry away at the first sign of His coming near to them. Nor does He care for some unconcerned, self-assuming, take-it-all-for-granted, ho-hum crowd who remain generally oblivious to His presence. He desires REAL FRIENDS like His friend Abraham. When the Lord came calling on this great patriarch, what happened? Why, Abraham immediately got up, killed a fatted calf, and they all sat down and ate a meal -- like friends are supposed to do! Well, God still wants to sit down and eat a meal with you and me! He wants to enjoy our company, take us into His confidence, open His heart to us, reveal His innermost thoughts, ideas and plans; and conversely, to intently listen to us in the very same manner. After all, this is what true friendship is really all about.
5) Best Friends Like to be with One Another. This is another quite obvious trait of true friendship with which we are all familiar. Best friends just naturally enjoy, indeed prefer, being with each other. This is no doubt precisely why the apostle Paul described the relationship that we, as Christians, ought to have for one another in the following terms:
"Let love be without dissimulation (unfeigned, sincere-the real thing) . . . Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor, PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER" (Romans 12:9-10).
This is really a wonderful passage of Scripture. When Paul says that we should honor each other, he means "to value or esteem in the highest degree." And when he states the we should prefer one another, he is saying that we should "highly respect and desire one another." If you insert the expanded definitions of these two key words into the text, then you truly get the flavor of the apostle's teaching. He is saying essentially that Christians ought to be the best of friends -- close, caring, desiring each other's well being, success and company. Unfortunately, in some instances, I have witnessed just the opposite of this beautiful sentiment -- cases where Church members actually preferred the company of worldly people more than their Christian brothers and sisters. This is most regrettable. If we ever hope to be the friend of God, we had better first take a close look at our friendships right here on this earth.
Notice once again how Paul put it to the Philippians on this same issue:
"If there is therefore any consolation in Christ (and there most assuredly is), if any comfort of love (absolutely), if any fellowship of the Spirit (undeniably), if any bowels and mercies (I should hope so!), fulfill you my joy, that you be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each ESTEEM the other better than themselves" (Philippians 2:1-3).
Ask yourself: Who do you truly prefer and desire and esteem the highest in your relationships with others? Brethren, what I am saying here is that we Christians ought to be good, close friends -- intimate, confiding, forgiving, always there when needed, always in close contact, always desiring one another -- FROM THE HEART! Unfortunately, some continue to judge by the outward appearance, and thus find themselves being critical of certain brethren -- brethren they just prefer not to be around or truly close to. In some cases, it is a matter of intellectual vanity or feeling of superiority. In other instances, it is a perception that this man or that woman is just not quite as cool, not quite as with it as one's carnal acquaintances. I have keenly observed that a relationship between some brethren is forced and stiff, as though they just had to do it; but not springing from an innate desire and preferring of one another.
God is not like that with us. He tells us expressly that He wants to be with us; that He enjoys our company; that He desires our friendship. This then should become the basis for our full relationship with the Father, and with each other. Examine yourself on this 5th attribute of true friends.
6) Best Friends Can Always Be Themselves With Each Other. What this simply means is that with best friends there is never any need for pretense -- no cover-ups, no shame, no guilt, no trying to be something you aren't -- just open, above-board, straightforward, real. God wants us to be ourselves-our real selves -- with Him. He wants us to come clean, to level with Him, to say it like it is. So often our conversation with God is not that of friend to Friend, but of slave to tyrant, of the most unworthy piece of dirt on the face of the earth to the Sovereign Potentate of the Universe! Have you ever approached God in this manner? I'll bet you have -- many times, in fact. Have you noticed that the language you use in speaking to God is often somewhat formal, stilted, uncomfortable, unnatural, strained, forced, difficult, abnormal, sounding more like a quote from 1611 King James English than the natural, spontaneous dialogue of one who is communing with his best friend? If so, then you need to consider this particular attribute of a close friend as it impinges upon your relationship with God.
If, indeed, you were to speak to your best friend in the same distant, affected manner as you might sometimes do with God, how would that be taken by your friend? He would immediately begin to wonder what in the world was wrong with you! Well, maybe God feels somewhat the same when we approach Him in such a calculated way, almost as though we were reciting a memorized prayer.
Best friends are able to break down the barriers that tend to generally separate human beings. They don't have to hide it; they don't have to fake it; they don't have to whitewash it. They don't have to be so overly careful in how they choose their words, for fear of accidentally offending the other. They can relax and allow the free flow of their spirits to motivate their conversation and conduct in each other's presence. With best friends, it all comes naturally, easily, smoothly, without stress, fear, worry, uncertainty, or inferiority. This is precisely the kind of relationship that God wants for each of us-one with another -- and, most especially, with Himself.
Now, by all of this I do not mean to state or imply that we should be disrespectful in how we approach God. That should be obvious, though, because best friends always have the utmost respect for each other and are always careful to be thoughtful, considerate and kind in their dealings one with another. So must it then be in this aspect of our relationship with God.
7) Best Friends Go the Extra Mile for Each Other. This is the seventh and last of these special attributes of a best friend that I intend to cover in this particular article, but it is a most significant one -- especially in relation to what God and His Son have done for us.
Going the extra mile is part and parcel with being best friends with someone. For true best friends, no request is too demanding, no problem is too frivolous, no matter is too personal, not to merit the immediate and utmost attention and action. That's just the way it is with best friends. They are always there for each other -- and more than just being there, they are always ready, willing and able to do whatever is necessary to help, to serve, to lighten the burden, to ease the pain, to solve the problems of one another.
As always, God is the same with us. He goes all the way with his friends. Indeed, He pulls out all the stops, goes overboard, works overtime. When we hurt, He feels the pain intensely. In one place, the prophet Isaiah was inspired to write:
"I will recount the loving-kindnesses of the Lord, and the praiseworthy deed of Yahweh, according to all that the Lord has bestowed on us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel, which He has granted them according to His mercies . . .
"For He said, Surely they are My people, sons who will not lie -- who will not deal falsely with Me, and so He was to them a Savior in an their distresses. In all their affliction, HE TOO WAS AFFLICTED, and the Angel of His presence saved them; in His love and in His pity, He redeemed them; and He lifted them up and carried them all the days of old" (Isaiah 63:7-9).
Isn't that a remarkable statement? When ancient Israel-that carnal, sinful, backsliding nation-got themselves in trouble, were in deep despair and distress, were afflicted time and time again, it was Yahweh, the Father in heaven, who not only cared and was moved with compassion toward them; but suffered right along with them. In all their affliction, He too was afflicted!! When they hurt, He hurt too.
In later New Testament times, Paul, in describing Christ, said:
"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest that has passed into the heavens, Jesus (Yahshua) the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but who was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need" (Hebrews 4:14-16).
Indeed, whether we speak of the God of the Old Covenant or the New, in ages past or right now in the present, our Father and His Holy Son have always related to and identified with and suffered with and for every single one of us. Our Savior did not just go the mere extra mile that is indicative of a good friend -- oh no -- he ultimately gave up everything -- his divinity, his power, his eternal life in heaven, his comfort, his possessions, his dignity. Yes, he went ALL THE WAY for you and me! We read the moving words of the Messiah in John 15 once again, when he said:
"This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you. No one has greater love -- no one has shown stronger affection -- than to LAY DOWN HIS OWN LIFE FOR HIS FRIENDS" (John 15:12-13).
And going all the way, even to laying down his own life, was precisely what Jesus Christ did for you and me. He was and is the ULTIMATE BEST FRIEND -- the very best friend a human being could ever possibly have.
Brethren, do the concepts of going all the way and laying down your life truly characterize your deep, personal, day-in and day-out relationship with Almighty God? Once again I urge us all to carefully and seriously reflect upon our REAL spiritual lives -- not our imagined ones or the ideal ones or the ones we wish we had or the ones we know that we should have -- but what is really and truly there. There is no shame, no sin, no guilt, in coming up short in such an honest and forthright examination. The key is, first of all, to do it; and then, secondly, to do something about it.
Our conclusive victory in this life and calling is gained through knowing God and Christ on intimate, not superficial or abstract, terms. If we truly desire to have impact and influence on our Father; if we wish to pray effectively; if indeed we really want to be all that we can be in spiritual service and growth, then it all must necessarily flow from a genuine, close, personal relationship with God the Father and His Son. Who expresses that kind of special link better than David in the famous 23rd Psalm:
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER." (Psalm 23)
It truly surpasses all expression and words of description to know that after all is said and done -- in spite of who or what we are -- with all our problems, shortcomings and failures -- our pains, afflictions and sufferings -- we can come to the resting place of God's own home, open the door and enter into the very presence of Yahweh Himself -- to know that we can finally come home again, into the welcoming smile and warm embrace of our loving Creator, our merciful Father, and OUR BEST FRIEND!
Written by: Jim Rector |
