In some ways church splits resemble family disagreements. There is a tendency for some people to choose a side and then to refuse to talk about the issue. Another extreme is to judge, attack and name-call people in the other group. Neither is good. Each person should make an effort to calmly talk about what the Bible says about the issues that are causing the split. Everyone must be patient and realize that not everyone sees everything at the same time—we learn differently. It is a mistake to make enemies of people with whom you might again work in the next few years—or for all eternity!

The major goal of a split-off congregation will be to avoid the problems that caused the split. Decisions for the new group will often not be made from the perspective of "what should we do?" but from the perspective of "what should we do differently from what we were doing previously?" People often want "the same kind of congregation" with "the old problem" fixed.

However, when problems arise and a new start is made, believers frequently pray and study the Bible with a new zeal. They may see new things in the scriptures that they previously had not. Some of what they "discover" may be a mistake. On the other hand, they may discover new truth that other members of the new group are not ready to accept. There is a limit to how many things can be changed at once. Even after three years of training, Christ's Apostles still did not understand all they needed to know (John 16:12). Many times, a new group will have to start with an agreement to "solve the problems that caused the split", and to consider other issues later.

Congregation splits can be particularly difficult when they are from well-established organizations that claim to be "the One True Church". These groups may not tolerate any open criticism of their leaders and teachings. They may have policies of casting out members (excommunication, disfellowshipment) who do such things, and forbidding all other members to talk to them. Splitting from groups like these can mean the severing of lifelong friendships. That is difficult, but sometimes necessary: "If you want to be my follower you must love me more than your own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, more than your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26, NLT). These difficult situations are also opportunities for great service.

There is a tendency for members of these controlling church organizations to just "go away quietly" when they see a scriptural problem that causes them to realize that they must worship elsewhere. Even local pastors in such groups may feel like "quietly leaving". However, it is important to realize that people in these organizations are the only ones who can reach other people in the same organization. When a group considers itself "the One True Church", why should its members listen to others "outside the Church"? So when people in these groups see the errors of the group, they are the ideal people to help reach others in the group—because they still have credibility in that group.

But helping others is usually not easy. One should not make accusations against leaders, but simply start by sharing Bible scriptures that do not fit the organization's teaching and asking other brethren what they mean. In some cases, you may receive a good explanation, but in others you may be told that a verse "does not mean what it appears to say, but that you must trust that God has inspired our leaders to understand it." Keeping a list of verses that people cannot explain or for which they must trust their organization's unnatural explanation is sometimes a helpful tool in showing people that they are "following a man".