Q. Both myself and the man I am dating are Christians. We were planning on being married but now he says he wants a pre-marital agreement. He says he lost half his assets in a previous divorce and he's not going to let that happen again. I am against the agreement. What does the Bible say about these agreements? (Submitted by: Elaine) A. It is true, admittedly, that the Bible never deals with the subject of marriage contracts with built-in clauses regulating the disposal of assets and the custody of children, etc., in the event of divorce. However, there is a problem with them intrinsically from a Christian viewpoint. Marriage should be lifelong, and the grounds for divorce and remarriage are very narrow when those married are both Christians (e.g. adultery, see Matthew 19:9). So Jesus warned, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (Matthew 19:6). Although a Christian couple could divorce on other grounds, neither partner could marry anyone else then. A prenuptial agreement is a built-in way for a couple marrying to "cross their fingers" when saying, "I do." But if a couple conditionalizes their commitment to each other, that by itself can help cause what is feared ahead of time and covered in the prenuptial agreement. It shows a lack of commitment to the other partner in such a fundamentally important and intimate relationship to have such mental reservations in advance of committing to him or her. Furthermore, there is always the issue of materialism here. We as Christians shouldn't be so terribly upset if half of our assets are lost, if we take seriously what our Savior taught against prioritizing the acquisition of material wealth. Are we put on earth to serve Mammon (money, wealth) instead of God, and to heap up treasures on earth (Matthew 6:19-33)? This is a hard thing to say, but it's worth serious consideration even when a man or woman may be very wealthy: Are we really willing to let go it if we had to? So I believe your analysis is correct, that Christians shouldn't sign prenuptial agreements. This has serious considerations for you personally, which I appreciate. For you aren't just looking at this issue as a theoretical issue, but it directly affects your relationship with a man who you have been very seriously involved with romantically. So I wish you well and God's blessing in your decision-making process. |
