Is it WRONG to live together
even if its just before MARRIAGE?

Is it WRONG to live together
even if its just before MARRIAGE?

Q. My boyfriend and I plan on getting married as soon as I finish college in one year. I am 21 and he is 25. However, right now we are having a long distance relationship. He has offered to move to the town I live in. We are both strong Christians and have been tempted numerous times with sex, however, we have both decided to wait until we are married. Considering all of this, is it wrong for us to live together even though we are not having sex?

(Submitted by: R. D.)

A. First of all I must congratulate the both of you for having abstained, so far, to make love, until marriage. I wish that in this day and age, people, as a whole, would practice this principle. We would have a far better society, more moral, and far more successful marriages.

Living together is for married life, not before. It would be extremely exceptional to live together and not ending up having sex. There are several Scriptures on this subject, but the two I am quoting will suffice:

"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body." (1Corinthians 6:18)

The point here is to avoid the opportunity, or, as the Bible says, flee it. Proverbs 6:24-35 deals with the sex sin as a whole, but verses 27-28 pinpoints the problem that the two of you will face by living together and not make love:

"Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared"

There is another reason why you should not be living together, in spite of today's acceptance in the Western world. It has to do with your reputation. The Bible considers this factor also:

"Abstain from all appearance of evil." (1Thessalonians 5:22)

We can claim many promises from the Bible, for living righteously. They are tangible benefits, in this life, the blessings for obedience to God's laws:

"Observe and obey all this words which I command you, that it may go well with you and your children forever, when you do what is good and right in the sight of the Lord your God." (Deuteronomy 12:28)

You can consider abstaining before marriage, as you purpose to do, as an investment in your future. It will bring you a much happier and successful marriage. It is God who promises it. Although it entails a little sacrifice, it goes a long way to produce character in the two of you, an element so important in marriage. It certainly promotes faithfulness, a rather rare virtue today.

To conclude, there are nearly forty Scriptures in the New Testament alone that tackle the issue of fornication. Indeed, God places much emphasis on this moral issue that is lost in our world today. As it is important in God's sight it ought to be for us to.

Thank you for your question. I am glad that both of you are endeavoring to live according to a right moral conduct. I sincerely hope that you will follow through and reap the blessings.