Is there a CORRECT way
to courtship based on the Bible?

Is there a CORRECT way
to courtship based on the Bible?

Q. What does the Bible say about dating and courtship? How do you go about it the correct way?

A. Is there a correct way to go about courtship? Do you make a shopping list, and check off each step? Did this. Check! Did that. Check! Courtship that way would be as exciting as watching paint dry.

Courtship is like the rest of life. It has many twists and turns, and you deal with them as they come.

The Bible says little about courtship because wives were generally chosen by the parents. The nearest to a Bible courtship begins in Genesis 28:1-2 where Isaac told Jacob to go to Padanaram and marry one of his uncle Laban's daughters.

"And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother." (Genesis 28:1-2)

The narrative jumps to Genesis 29:1 where Jacob fell head over heels in love with his cousin Rachel. Jacob declared his willingness to work as his uncle's hired hand for seven years for Rachel. When his uncle tricked Jacob into marrying Rachel's older sister, Leah, Jacob agreed to work another seven years to have Rachel (v. 30). That's devotion! That's love!

When I was a teenager (fifty-something years ago), no one picked a girl and decided they were going steady. We dated many girls -- no kissing, no sex -- just a good time at the beach, or bowling, or at the movies. Eventually the chemistry of love began working between a particular couple, and it became apparent they were meant for each other. Only then did they begin going steady.

Even then, however, everything didn't necessarily go smoothly. In my own case, I found myself deeply in love with a very beautiful girl, and we began thinking about marriage. However, she went to college where she met a fellow, and wrote to say they were going to be married.

That hurt, but God had better plans. One of the girls I had often dated -- a short, real plain Jane -- had been waiting. When the letter came from college, Jeannette made sure she was at the head of the line for dates. At age 21 we married, and had a wonderful life until her death three years later.

Life then took me far from home, where I met another girl. After a short courtship Betty and I married, and have shared life happily together for nearly forty years.

One bit of advice I can offer regards courtship is, don't mistake sex for love. If he wants you to prove your love by letting him use your body, there's not much love there. Prove your love, and let him prove his, by saying no until marriage.