The philosophy of life of the other person is a better indication of how they will behave in an intimate stressful relationship like marriage. What is a philosophy of life? It is a set of beliefs used to determine how we interact with others.
One way to predict whether a relationship will work is to see how the beloved treats their enemies. Inevitably, in an ongoing relationship with another, we are going to "cross" the other person. If they rant and rave about their enemies and do not see their part in helping to bring about crisis with others--they will not be kind to us when we cross them (even though accidentally). How are their problem-solving skills? Do they blame place or do they seek to solve problems? Are they flexible or are they rigid and demanding?
Everybody wants something from a relationship. Are they willing to discuss these desires and try to fill some of them? Are they the center of the universe--only thinking about their desires? People that are "nice" to others because they understand the human plight are much easier to get along with than overly opinionated, critical people are. If they only have negative things to say about others, that is not a good sign.
Are they overly apologetic? Do they accept themselves? People will often treat you like the treat themselves. If they are obsessed with themselves, they may not be well enough to love another. Be careful about people who think you will complete them. Usually they will only finish you off!
Is Intensity OK?
Can one feel intense affection for another and be realistic about the beloved's faults? Yes. Though it may be a rarity, it is possible. If one educates oneself as to the cause of one's emotions one can positively evaluate the beloved for their good traits and feel a great deal of affection. If one follows the teaching of the Bible, one can feel that way about every one.
Feelings are not facts. They are the results of the "goodness or evil" we attribute to things--our evaluations. They can add to the enjoyment of life. As Paul discovered, if we think "right" we will only have appropriate emotions and we will not need to have to try to control them.
Warm feelings are nice to have. However, the harsh light of reality can cause them to wilt like a flower in the heat of the sun. The person that loves people because He understands God's plan is probably the best choice for a mate. People that have something nice to say about everyone are much more apt to forgive and forget when they see us in the harsh light of day. They forgive the bad and play up the good.
Romantic love has its place. Add to it mercy, kindness and it is sheer beauty--a lovely emotion that we can feel forever!