SELF-Terrorists
What's wrong with people that terrorize others? Simply this: These people are consummate self-haters. They first terrorize
THEMSELVES with their belief systems then go on to treat others as they treat themselves! They have been taught all their life that they are not as good as other "more fortunate"
people. Unfortunately, they believe it. Since they hate (have little respect for themselves) they are willing to do things and take risks that other less self-hating people would not find
acceptable. When a person thinks he is a piece of garbage, he not only denigrates himself but trivializes the life of others. The self-hater hates himself so much that it easily
spills out of him onto others. Does the self-hater realize this. No! He believes his overwhelming obsession with himself is love. He thinks the attention he pays to himself means he is
loving and respecting himself. In reality he is perpetuating his own deception! True respect means you are comfortable enough with yourself to respect others as much as yourself.
Hate is in the Mind of the Beholder
The philosophy of life the self-haters use allows them to believe that it's OK to steal and take things from others. It is,
after all, survival of the fittest. The self-hater blames damns and condemns others for the station of life he finds himself in. Since it is all the environment's and someone
else's fault, he or she doesn't realize that true happiness depends on what we think about ourselves and others. Crooked thinking is where the true problem is. The self-hater has
used his thinking to paint himself into a philosophical darkened and depressing corner in his mind. He seems unaware that He only has to use his creativity to paint windows in the gloomy
room of his mind to brighten things up!. The same creativity that he used to make himself miserable can be used to let the sun shine in! These misguided people define their own inferiority
through their own creativity. Sadly, they can and do believe their own rhetoric.
Just Pure Fiction . . .
Some psychologists believe that 80% of thinking is pure fiction. If the human mind creates the idea of injustice, real
injustices will only be exaggerated and enhanced. The self-hater hates you because of what he thinks your ancestors did to his ancestors. But, you may muse, how can anyone be responsible
for what their ancestors did? You would be correct. Yet, the self-hater, through his crooked thinking (he is after all deceived), turns you into a mean spirited hideous oppressing monster.
Since you are an oppressing monster-- a representative of the system he despises, he is justified into doing anything to you to get what he wants (needs). Because you sense his hatred for
you, you have moved miles away to the suburbs. In doing this you sent a message to the self-hater which he interprets as confirming his inferiority. After all, why would you move if there
wasn't something wrong with him? And because you have insured that you and others like you make enough money to do so, you have erected financial barriers that he does not know how to
surmount. How ironic! The self-hater turns his hatred for you toward his neighbors. He robs and steels from them. The persecuted become the persecutors. Ridiculous--some might think. But in
the self-hater's mind it is his reality.
That's not to say injustices and prejudices do not exist. They certainly do! They are wrongs and need to be addressed. But hate
only begets hate. A person, because he considers himself poor or disadvantaged, does not have to hate and steal! There are honest "poor" people. Poor people who are kind are indeed
beautiful people. They are among the most forgiving and merciful people there are.
My dad used to say; "Fine houses do not make fine people!" He was right. My added thoughts were this: "Fine people do not make slums."
Soap and water are cheap commodities if you think enough of yourself to use them. And then how much money does it take to stoop down and pick up (or not put it down in the first place) some
trash? I have picked up more trash in one week living in Detroit than I did in a year of living in a suburb of Detroit! Befouling his own nest shows what the self-hater thinks of himself.
I use to teach in a learning center populated by students that had been excluded from regular high school. One of my students had been
excluded for an "anger" problem. He had been in numerous fights at his high school. I heard the news on local TV that he had been arrested for killing another young man. What had happened?
When I returned to school, the other students told me. Bill (not his real name) had been running from the police. He knocked at the door of his friend's house. When the door opened he
rushed into the house and in doing so stepped on my student's new Adidas shoes. My student became enraged. "Man!" he said, "You just got mud all over my new
shoes!" The two continued a heated exchange. "Man, f _ _ k your shoes, I'm running from the police. I'll get you a new pair!" It was alleged that my student
got a shot gun, came back, and blew a hole in Bill! All this over a pair of shoes! Though it was just a pair of shoes, in the mind of the self-hater they were prestigious shoes. Those shoes
proved to their owner that he was just as good as others (maybe even better).
I GOTTA have it.
Self-haters are often extremely materialistic. They gullibly swallow the ads they see in the media. They often think if they could
only have this or that thing, they could be complete happy people. They often desire and buy expensive clothes, jewelry or cars which they think proves to them and others that they are just
as good as others. If they don't have the money to buy what they want or need, their belief system allows them to steal it! Better to have it that way than to suffer the horrible
horrors and worthlessness they define for themselves if they don't have it! If a self- hater steals he thinks he just got great deal on what he stole. After all he paid nothing for it!
If you are his victim, you have just paid your dues! In general, self-haters are not happy being who they are. Self-haters do not realize that every one of us has to deal with the demons of
our mind. No matter who we are, we deal with our internal storms. All of us have burnt toast for breakfast from time to time. None of us gets everything we want.
I have been a teacher in the inner city and suburbs for the last 18 years. I use to think that if only my students just knew
how much I cared about them, they would be just fine (all you need is love). Since I cared about them and wanted to help them, they would let me teach them. After dealing with unruly
students day after day and for many years, I have formulated a different point of view. The psyche of my students is so damaged by their own internal twisted beliefs and thinking that no
matter how good I felt about them, they could not see or understand my respect for them because of their own disrespect and hatred for themselves.
As a rule self-haters are extremely self-denigrating. I soon realized that it would be difficult if not impossible to get past my
student's self-hatred. Though I loved them dearly, they would only disqualify my love for them by viewing it through their own self-hatred. They would often be suspicious and hostile
as a response to my displays of affection. Alas, they were clueless as to their "self-righteousness." What they needed was a complete philosophical make over. They needed to realize that we
are all made in each other's image. No one is better than anyone else—all of us are headed to the same place! Alas, I was not there to teach them a new philosophy of life. I was
there to teach them English!
Horror Stories of Hate
I could tell you numerous horror stories of teachers that had their cars vandalized because they attempted to discipline students
(because they wanted to teach them). The students were not aware that they needed to discipline themselves (so they could be taught). They were often hostile toward the teacher and others
that wanted to learn. One teacher who told some students to be quiet in class ended up at the end of the day having all FOUR of her tires flat! In another incident an irate student murdered
our assistant principle. Security in the school required that all students enter a metal detector before entrance to the building.
The average person, when confronted with a self-hater, becomes part of the problem. He unwittingly confirms the deception of the self
-hater by his disgust for them. Make no mistake about it, it is difficult to teach and want to be around someone that has the big chip of self-hatred on their shoulder. And yet part of the
solution is respect for the self-hater despite his disrespect for himself (and you). It's called unconditional positive regard. That's why the concept of Unconditional Positive
Regard is so important. It is part of the solution for the problem.
Creative Abuse
Self-hatred is an abuse of creativity. The self-hater, unfortunately, does not realize he has used his own creativity to make himself
miserable. He has been "subtly" taught do himself in with his own thinking. The self-hater has learned in whatever state he finds himself to make himself discontented!
I have learned what I need to know to be able be a part of the solution. I would have to be invincible in order to help these poor
deceived people! I would have to literally force the self-haters to listen to me so that I could teach them to accept themselves, just because they exist! But as a mortal human they would
kill me because most avenues into their mind are blocked by their belief that they know who they are! At least I understand their problem. The self-haters, though they oppose themselves may
someday make themselves so miserable by their screwed up thinking that they may give up some of their self-hate. I have unconditional positive regard for self-haters but I have found in
order to keep my own sanity and life I had better keep a certain distance from them.
When we look at this world and the wars and difficulties we have, it is because people are deceived into using their native creativity
to imagine major differences between themselves and others. .Instead of being a human first, they label themselves, Jewish, Arabic, white, black—what ever. They put themselves in an
artificially defined group and they then "think" that that group is "better" or "worse" than the group they put others into. It is just the other side of the same coin. They then create a
necessity to do something about their imagined differences! They hate themselves and denigrate the others they put in the group with themselves.
We create artificial divisions by the barriers we erect in our own minds. We tell ourselves we are Jewish, Arabic,
Black, White, German—what ever that means! Few stop to think what is really going on. In reality we are all just human beings with different, often irrational belief systems. We really
have a lot in common. We all eat, drink, sleep, and go to the bathroom! The differences between us are more imagined than real. We all bleed when we are cut. We all die. We all want to love
and be loved!
Who am I? And who are YOU?
I had a discussion with a student who believed he was Arabic. He was talking about Zionism and his disgust for Jewish people. I asked
him a question. "So, which one are you first, an Arab or a human being?" I told him that people are raised as Jews or Arabs. I told him he was just as human as a so-called Jew. The
so-called Jew was just as human as he was. I told him that in reality he hated someone else just because they existed. I told him it was time to stop hating people. I told him that his
"Arabness" was just a philosophy of life-- a self-created ideology—not a genetic function. This seemed a revelation to him. He thought about it for a few moments and then a light
seemed to come on in his mind. "I guess I am a human!" I was pleasantly surprised.
The philosophy of life our society perpetuates is wrong if we want peace. We need a philosophy based on love and respect for everyone.
We need to inculcate a philosophy that would make us our brother's keeper. We then would have to define everyone as our brother. We would need to teach people to like and love
themselves and everyone. We would need to give up our us versus them mentality. Imagine if you had to think with the "garbage" floating through the self-hater's mind. Imagine if
you secretly felt that your very existence was somehow defective? Indeed we are all infected with the psychological virus of "self hate" to some degree.
Media as the mass sage teaches us that it is always better to be someone else. We muse, "I wish I were a Hollywood movie star" that
ironically earns his or her living by pretending they are someone else. We call it acting. They even get awards for it! As a psychological virus, these destructive ideas seem to replicate
themselves repeatedly in our minds. They are infectious and so are easily spread to other minds! "Brad is one handsome dude!" we think and say. "He has a noble existence which is better
than mine. I am not as handsome or as valuable as Brad and I desperately need to be! So if I can't be him then if I could only be in the presence of the star's aura truly I will
be ennobled." All this is utter hogwash of the worst kind-so much psychological garbage. But it does remind us that there is something wrong with us being who we are!
I have given up the idea that someone else is "better" than me or that I am better than he or she. I am me. You are you and
that's cool too. Do you suppose these ideas can be contagious as well?
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