What is the hardest
SIN to forgive?

A victim is innocent. The victim has done no wrong and yet he has been harmed by his fellowman or environment. In reality, there are very few true victims. Who among us really believes that they are innocent of any wrong doing--ever?

The world has deceived itself into playing the role of victim. And we are giving an Academy Award performance while doing it. We easily slip into the role without conscious awareness. Perfectly intelligent people play the role of victim without the slightest awareness that they are doing so. The human mind is a tribute to its ability to deceive itself.

Most people think that emotional pain is undesirable. People would rather be happy than sad, would rather be pleasantly disposed than angry. We all agree that there are negative emotions. What is the cause of these negative emotions?

The Pedophile Priest

Not to long ago the American media told the story of a priest that had molested several altar boys 20 years ago. Now 20 years older, the priest's former charges confronted him. The priest was in tears and seemed to display a great deal of remorse. He apologized profusely. Since time travel seems impossible, the only thing the priest could do was apologize for what he did in the past! That was not enough for "his victims." As if the man was "Raca " or worthless they descended upon him and through the civil courts of our land, tried, convicted and sentenced him to a long jail term.

It was touching to see the former altar boy sobbing and telling how they had been traumatized by being molested. They believed their life had been ruined by the "pedophile priest." No one challenged the young men's beliefs. No one reminded them that God existed when they were molested and that God still exists. No one told them that ultimately it was God that allowed the priest to molest them. God is not being accused of any wrong doing. It's simply being pointed out that God could have stopped the event from happening (if He wanted).

Sex as Idol

Sex is one of the biggest idols in the world! Though it may be Goliath it will be slain! No one told or knew to tell the former altar boys that they had exaggerated their experience and were punishing themselves all those years over "glorified tickling." What did the priest actually do to the former altar boys that they hadn't done to themselves hundreds of time before and thousands of time since (masturbation)? People get over major automobile accidents, or even death of loved ones quicker than they get over being molested. WHY?

These young men were displaying the classic symptoms of guilt. They had to think they did something wrong to feel guilt. What did these boys think they did wrong ? The priest molested them. THEY DID NO WRONG! Why should the young men feel guilt? The former altar boys never got over being molested because they didn't know how. Since sex is such a sacred cow, few people, even if they knew how to teach the young men to get over it, would risk telling them. They would fear the social condemnation they would get if they took any view except the status quo. After all, to minimize an illicit sex act is a "horror" beyond belief!

Why the Guilt?

Back to our explanation of why the young men felt guilty. Guilt is produced in the mind because the mind "thinks" it has done something wrong. What did the young men "think" to feel guilty? More importantly, what are they still thinking to feel guilt 20 years later? Here is what no one told the lads: Thoughts produce emotions, NOT events and circumstances. Man has dominion over his environment, not it over him. We have got to be brutally honest with ourselves. If you can't handle reality, stop reading now! Sex feels good! The victims felt guilty because though this particular sex act was wrong (morally) it felt good! If one does not understand that something wrong can feel good, one will blame, damn and condemns one's self for feeling that way. Here is what the young men probably still think (or words to this effect):

"Since the priest did this 'horrible' thing to us he should be hated, damned, condemned and punished (tortured) for doing such a despicable thing. And we, because it felt good, when it absolutely should not have, might be homosexual and what a horror that would be! How awful! We are no damn good. Furthermore, if that priest had not done what he did to us we would not have this dilemma to deal with. Therefore we are justified in hating him for what he did to us!"

Where is God?

Where is God in all this? Though He says He knows every sparrow that falls to the ground and every hair on our head, where was He when this event took place? Does He let "horrible" things happen to people?

Don't go assuming we are advocating adult-child sex. We are not. It is and was wrong for the priest to take advantage of the young boys.

But to trash the priest over something that in the grand scheme of things is trivial is ridiculous! That is to mock the sacrifice of Jesus Christ--the lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world.

The Creation of Misery

The young men believed their life was ruined by the priest and they wanted revenge. However in view of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ their complain against their brother is trivial. Hatred, war and playing the role of victim only makes things worse. The young boys really created their own emotional misery by their belief in Hell (or some version of it). They believed it was "awful" (a version of Hell!) to be molested. Furthermore, they believed and actively told themselves that if the priest had not done a sex act that felt good, but shouldn't have, they wouldn't have to be feeling guilty about it. They hated this priest because he showed them (even though wrongly) that they were human. "Damn Him and damn humanity for allowing this to happen! ! Crucify him and all like him!"

This hateful rhetoric will never erase the fact that the young lads were molested. Nor, that they have accused God of lying, by inference, of letting them be tempted above what they were able.

Beginning the Healing

What could they think today to get past this event? Here it is:

"It's too bad that we were molested, but how does it compare to Christ's death on the stake? We wish it wouldn't have happened but it did. God has promised us that we will never be tempted above what we are able. God has not lied! We haven't been tempted above what we are able. It's best we get off our pity pot and go on with the rest of our lives. Most likely the priest did what He did out of some sick need. It's easy to understand that could happen. It's part of the human plight. As a part of our humanity, the most noble of us often do the stupidest things. We can forgive him and go on. The nerve endings and our penis were just doing what they were designed to do--provide sexual pleasure. Physical pleasure is a normal response to stimulation of nerve endings in that area. Because it felt good does not make us homosexuals or scars us for life. It's too bad it happened but it did! It hardly compares in significance to Christ death on the stake"

How can Christians help?

So how can we as Christians help these people? We had better tell the truth. The young men need to know that emotions are related to the goodness or evilness they attribute to their experiences. If they attribute to much evil to something, they will feel an extreme negative emotion.

Satan's Tactics

Satan the great deceiver is behind all this commotion about nothing. Through his influence we have turned the stimulating of a bunch of nerve endings into a "horror." That is the real reason people never seem to get over being molested or raped. Satan is a clever deceiver. He has deceived us into watching people murdered, maimed in thousands of ways and calling it entertainment. But if we watch someone make love to another we call it pornography! Talk about twisted. Think about it.

He has got us beating and punishing ourselves over the most trivial things. Twenty years later several young men think what they went through is worse than what Christ went through on the stake. What an incredible deception. The Creator of the universe said while He was hanging on the stake, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do!" (Luke 23:34). And what do the courts of our land do--re-enforce deception. Can you imagine our courts telling the victim and the perpetrator to forgive each other and hug one another. Not in the Kingdom of Lucifer it won't happen! It seems that no one wants to tell the emperor he is wearing no clothes!

We stand by the Creator! No one, and that means no one, has been tempted above what they are able. (1Corinthians 10:13). The young men and the priest need to be educated on how to forgive! They are humans made in the image of God. When are we going to start treating each other that way? Hate only begets hate. Love covers a multitude of sins. The answer to this and most relationship problems is to love and forgive! Nothing shall separate us from the love of God! "For we know that in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." (Romans 8:37). We can get off our pity pot and love others if we choose. It's our choice.