Best Quotes about Life!
Humorous Quotes

Atheists    -    Death    -    Dogs & Cats
Growing Old    -    Marriage    -    Money
Stupidity    -    Success    -    MORE!
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mike Russell
All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
Anonymous
A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. Much obliged, said he, pushing the plate aside, I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills.
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
In a museum in Havana, Cuba, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus - one when he was a boy and the other when he was a man.
Mark Twain
What is the destiny of America?
What does Bible say about flattery?
Can we drink wine in moderation?

Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.
Joan Konner
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Jules Renard
Doing nothing is very hard to do . . . you never know when you're finished.
Leslie Nielsen
Winston Churchill asked Lady Astor what disguise he should wear to her masquerade ball. She said, "Why don't you come sober, Mr. Prime Minister?"
Anonymous
I was born modest; not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
Every dogma has its day.
Abraham Rotstein
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W.C. Fields
I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately. Extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
Steven Wright
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple

Bureaucrats are the only people in the world who can say absolutely nothing and mean it.
Hugh Sidey
The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
John Cleese (Monty Python)
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Richard Harkness
There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.
Spencer Tracy
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Additional Study Materials
Does Xmas disrespect God?
What or who is a heretic?
How should the poor be treated?
Did Jesus ever drink alcohol?

Biblical Humor!
Jesus Laughs!   -   A Pain in the Rear
Paul's Cutting Correction!   -   Laughter's Son
Elijah Mocks Prophets!   -   The Big Lie
Fools of Corinth   -   God Mocks Sinners
Paul's Funny Word Play

Humorous Quotes!
Atheists    -    Children    -    Death
Dogs & Cats    -    God and Man
Growing Old    -    Life's Lessons
Marriage    -    Money    -    Relationships
Stupidity    -    Success & Fame
Best of the Rest!


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