Life's Lessons
Humorous Quotes

Atheists    -    Death    -    Dogs & Cats
Growing Old    -    Marriage    -    Money
Stupidity    -    Success    -    MORE!
Laughter is the best medicine for a long and happy life. He who laughs - lasts.
Wilfred Peterson
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Yogi Berra
´╗┐Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.
Yogi Berra

Nobody forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Frank Hubbard
Learn from the mistakes of others - you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Marin Vanbee
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
Anyone who tells the truth is bound to be found out, sooner or later.
Oscar Wilde
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde
Experience is a good teacher, but she sends terrific bills.
Minna Antrim
The future ain't what it used to be.
Yogi Berra
When I play golf with the president of the U.S., I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, me, a paramedic and a faith healer.
Bob Hope
The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the golf course.
Billy Graham
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
George Burns
A captain announced to his ship "Does anyone here know how to pray?" One person replied, "I do, captain." The captain responded "Good. You pray. The rest of us will put on life preservers. We're one short."
John May
When the U.S. Congress gets the Constitution all fixed up, they are going to start on the Ten Commandments, just as soon as they can find someone in Washington who has read them.
Will Rogers
Medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
If God wanted us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
Jay Leno
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
Don Herold

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, but not enough.
If at first you don't succeed, your sky-diving days are over.
He gives until it hurts, but he's extremely sensitive to pain.
Put two egotists together and you've got a case of an I for an I.
I'm a terrible gardener. Last month my artificial lawn died.
A man is usually bald four or five years before he knows it.
Edgar Watson Howe
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Will Rogers
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words.
Woody Allen
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
Jim Worford
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Humorous Quotes!
Atheists    -    Children    -    Death
Dogs & Cats    -    God and Man
Growing Old    -    Life's Lessons
Marriage    -    Money    -    Relationships
Stupidity    -    Success & Fame
Best of the Rest!

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