Laughter is the best medicine for a long and happy life. He who laughs - lasts.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Laughter is an instant vacation.
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.
Nobody forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Learn from the mistakes of others - you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Anyone who tells the truth is bound to be found out, sooner or later.
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Experience is a good teacher, but she sends terrific bills.
The future ain't what it used to be.
When I play golf with the president of the U.S., I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, me, a paramedic and a faith healer.
The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the golf course.
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
A captain announced to his ship "Does anyone here know how to pray?" One person replied, "I do, captain." The captain responded "Good. You pray. The rest of us will put on life preservers. We're one short."
When the U.S. Congress gets the Constitution all fixed up, they are going to start on the Ten Commandments, just as soon as they can find someone in Washington who has read them.
Medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
If God wanted us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words.
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.