Friends and Relationships
Humorous Quotes

Atheists    -    Death    -    Dogs & Cats
Growing Old    -    Marriage    -    Money
Stupidity    -    Success    -    MORE!
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.
Oscar Wilde
´╗┐Those who say they will forgive but can't forget, simply bury the hatchet but leave the handle out for immediate use.
D. L. Moody
Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
Jane Austen
In judging others, folks will work overtime for no pay.
Charles Edwin Carruthers

A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar Wilde
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Winston Churchill
There’s no point in burying a hatchet if you're going to put a marker on the site.
Sydney J. Harris
Never exaggerate your faults; your friends will attend to that.
Robert C. Edwards
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Brooks Thomas
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception.
Groucho Marx
The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one."
C. S. Lewis
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde
Social tact is making your company feel at home, even though you wish they were.
Anonymous
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.
Doug Larson
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
G.K. Chesterton
The jawbone of an ass is just as dangerous a weapon today as it was in Samson's time.
James Swanson
We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.
Olin Miller
Your lack of manners is only exceeded by your lack of manners.
Dale Carnegie

Home is a place where, when you go to it, they have to take you in.
Anonymous
Honesty is the best policy because it has so little competition!
Anonymous
The party that picked up the phone after I dialed told me that I had the wrong number. I asked, "Are you sure?" The party said, "Did I ever lie to you before?"
Anonymous
Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.
Anonymous
How sad it is that we give up on people who are just like us.
Fred Rogers
I will always love the false image I had of you.
Ashleigh Brilliant
It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
Andrew J. Holmes
The wicked are always surprised to find that the good can be clever.
Luc de Clapiers de Vauvenargues
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Humorous Quotes!
Atheists    -    Children    -    Death
Dogs & Cats    -    God and Man
Growing Old    -    Life's Lessons
Marriage    -    Money    -    Relationships
Stupidity    -    Success & Fame
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