How can we become
a MATURE Christian?

Any of us long time Christians find ourselves victims of what appears to be arrested spiritual development. Despite the length of time we have been converted, we seem no farther ahead than when we first came to know Christ. We continue to throw temper tantrums and find it impossible to keep a lid on our anger. We still demonstrate faithlessness, jealousy, lust and myriad other works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19). At the same time, we display precious little of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22 ff.). In rare moments of introspection we may wonder, "What have I done with all of these years? I seem as carnal today as when I started." We may even question the validity of our own conversion.

In a way, the very willingness to ask such questions is itself an indicator of at least some spiritual growth. It takes a degree of maturity and humility to recognize and acknowledge one's spiritual shortcomings. If you find yourself thinking this way from time to time, you're probably on the right path. None of us should ever be satisfied with the state of our spirituality.

On the other hand, those who believe that they are already spiritually mature may be in some trouble. None of us is as mature in the faith as we ought to be – at least not when measured by the standard of Jesus Christ.

For many Christians, spiritual maturity is elusive. It is something they know they should aim for, yet they have no idea how to achieve it.

What is the SIGN of Spiritual Maturity?

The key indicator of spiritual maturity is one's ability to love in a godly way . How do we know this? To be spiritually mature is to be like God. We have been called to imitate God. Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly beloved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2, NIV throughout unless stated)

The apostle John wrote,

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love " (1John 4:8).

To know and be like God is to have developed a capacity for godly love. The Spirit of God influences us to love. It stands to reason then that the more of the Holy Spirit we have, the greater will be our capacity and inclination to love in a godly manner. Paul wrote:

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Romans 5:5).

Of course, there are those who ridicule the notion that Christians should express love in any emotional way. They view it as mere maudlin sentimentality. They make fun of Christians – especially men – who openly express affection through hugging, verbal expression, or emotion. Several years ago, a woman who was a neighbor of one of my late relatives expressed revulsion at the fact that men at the local Church openly hugged each other right out on the street in front of the church! She seemed to believe that the church was encouraging, contrary to Scripture, homosexual relationships between men.

The well-meaning lady had no clue. In her mind, she was expressing righteous indignation, and the men were expressing perversion! She couldn't have been more wrong. Yet, her life to date had been a story of good works and care for others. She could understand love so long as it was expressed in an unemotional way.

What is NOT Spiritual Maturity?

What was Jesus' NEW COMMANDMENT?

Jesus, in teaching his own disciples, said,

"A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35).

Now ask yourself this: If Jesus' disciples did not openly express their love for each other, then how would "all men" know that they were his followers ? Of course the issue is how was this affection and love appropriately expressed? There truly were occasions in which the disciples of Jesus showed physical affection for each other, like when John leaned against Jesus' breast to ask him who would betray him:

"One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him . . . Leaning back against Jesus, he (John) asked him, 'Lord, who is it?'" (John 13:23)

The way the first Christians treated each other in public was the visible sign that they were Christians. Their interpersonal relationships were wholesome, selfless, giving, forgiving, and mutually supportive. Unlike much of the Church today, they were not competitive enemies. They were "in it together." At the same time, they had their occasional disagreements. After appropriate prayer and haggling, they worked out their differences and moved in unison ahead (i.e. Acts 15).

Love, like faith, without works or manifestation, is dead. If we say we have love, but we do nothing that demonstrates it, we have no reason to claim it. Love, to be love, has to have legs.

The word love in the New Testament is translated from the Greek word agapao. This word is Strong's Concordance #G25, which is the root for the Greek word agape (Strong's Concordance #G26). Nothing in the Greek-English Lexicon suggests that it means primarily a display of emotion or affection, yet that need not be excluded. In short, Jesus taught that if one is a true Christian, one loves one's fellow Christians. How this love is manifested is determined by the need of the moment.

Love is the antonym for hate. True Christians do not hate other Christians for any reason. If they do so, it is a symptom of spiritual immaturity. It is one thing to disagree on a point, it is quite another to hate. There is no room in the Christian's emotional vocabulary for hatred.

What is arrested spiritual development?

The apostle Paul was concerned for the spiritual maturity of the churches under his care. In reflecting on his own spiritual development, Paul wrote to the Corinthians,

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish things behind me" (1Corinthians 13:11).

Consider the nature of a child. The smaller the child, the more self-centered it tends to be. A small baby thinks only of its own needs, comfort and wants. It is a black hole of self, sucking everything into it. It sees the universe as revolving around itself.

As the child grows, its awareness of things, people and needs outside of itself is heightened. Instead of seeing all toys as its own, it eventually learns that some toys belong to other children. Gradually, incrementally, the child's world opens up. As it matures, it moves progressively outside of itself into the larger world of others. Over time, it becomes "socialized."

Children who freeze their emotional and intellectual progress at certain levels are said to have become victims of arrested development. We have all know adult men and women who appear to be emotional adolescents. Such people can become "emotional vampires" sucking the energy of all who come in contact with them. Like children, they use emotion as a weapon. Sometimes such arrested adults use "emotional blackmail" techniques to manipulate and control others. Books have been written on this subject.

If an arrested or immature adult is not getting enough attention, he or she may, like a neglected child, seek "negative strokes" by doing something outrageous, creating a crisis, or accusing someone close of something of which they are not guilty. Now all attention shifts to the person generating the crisis. Everyone around them begins to appease and cater to the proverbial "squeaky wheel." Some react defensively. Either that, or they become angry with them. The troublemaker now has what he or she wanted: attention and control. Such arrested people would rather receive negative attention than to be ignored.

Every family it seems has in it a gaggle of such people. They test the maturity of all of the other family members. They challenge us, stretch us, and force us to dig deep into our bag of emotional and spiritual resources. They try our patience to the max. Often they drive us to our knees in prayer.

The problem of arrested development occurs in people at both the natural level and at the spiritual level.

Picture of the face of God from Michelangelo's Creation of Adam painted on the Sistine Chapel (1510 A.D.) Gray hair is generally thought of as a sign of maturity and wisdom. The Bible teaches that not only do those with gray hair deserve respect but it is also a "crown of glory" to those who are spiritually mature: "You shall rise before the GRAY HEADED and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19:32, NKJV) "The SILVER-HAIRED HEAD is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness." (Proverbs 16:31, NKJV)

What are the TESTS for arrested spiritual development?

When we find Christians who have been baptized for decades behaving as though they were "baby Christians" we are probably looking at cases of arrested spiritual development. If we find ourselves fighting the same old problems we fought when we were first converted, we may be suffering from it ourselves. Here are some ways of testing for arrested spiritual development:

• Do you still have just as big a problem with your temper as when you were first converted?
• Do you feel spiritually powerless?
• Do you have long dry spells in which nothing seems to be going on between you and God?
• Are you unable to generate love, care and concern for others?
• Do you live a fundamentally self-centered, self-seeking life?
• Do you still seek to manipulate and control others through tantrums and other negative techniques?
• Do anger, hatred and jealousy play an inordinately large role in the way you express your personality?
• Do you put others down to make yourself look better?
• Does your life reflect more of the works of the flesh than fruit of the Spirit?

These questions and their answers are revealing. They can be helpful in taking stock of where you are in a trajectory toward spiritual maturity.

How is spiritually mature love MANIFESTED?

Let us now return to Paul's discussion of it. We have already seen that one of the marks of immaturity as seen in babies is an utter preoccupation with self. Paul, after explaining that he had put away childish things, goes on to show that

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  LOVE NEVER FAILS . . . " (1Corinthians 13:4-8).

So the trajectory from immaturity to maturity leads outward from self. Mature love is selfless love. Immature love is self-love .

Furthermore, Paul goes on to explain that no matter what else we can do – speak in angelic or human tongues we didn't learn, demonstrate the gift of prophecy, fathom mysteries like Daniel did, or even exercise mountain-moving faith – if we can't express love, spiritually we're nothing. Appropriate, godly love then is at the heart of spiritual maturity. Knowing that, isn't it something we ought to be actively seeking to achieve and express?

Love is the first listed fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22). As Paul also taught, every Christian should

"Follow the way of love . . ." (1Corinthians 14:1).

When Paul describes to the Corinthian congregation the ways in which godly love is manifested, he is providing a treatise on spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturity is characterized by patience, good manners (civility), lack of envy, humility and a temper that is well under control. The spiritually mature person is not preoccupied with himself or herself. He or she has died to self.

Those who have reached a high level of spiritual maturity are no longer interested in keeping track of other people's mistakes, sins and faults (1Corinthians 13:5). As Paul puts it, "they keep no record of wrongs." They have no war chest of offenses to unload on those over whom they wish to gain a psychological advantage in an argument.

A mature Christian rejoices in every new discovery of truth. He or she actively seeks out truth and follows it wherever it leads. He is not ashamed to jettison old errors in favor of better understanding.

Those who have reached higher plains of maturity take no delight – vicariously or otherwise – in evil. They do not view other's evil as a way of making themselves look good by contrast. (One of the standard techniques of an emotionally immature person is to provoke another person to anger, and then attack them for the anger. This perfectly reflects the mind of Satan.)

A spiritually mature person has no wish to participate in evil, and they don't delight in, or take advantage of, it when others fall into sin. They have no appetite for scandal. They take no delight in plotting evil, living vicariously in the evil of others, or in hearing about the evil that men do. They actively seek to drive back the toxic spiritual darkness that envelops this world. Those who are spiritually mature seek to protect others who are vulnerable in a dangerous world. Just as Jesus said to Peter:

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.  BUT I HAVE PRAYED FOR YOU, Simon, that your faith may not fail . . . " (Luke 22:31-32)

Mature Christians spend much time in intercessory prayer for others (Luke 22:31; 1Thessalonians 5:17). They are more focused on the needs of others than themselves. Those who are spiritually advanced are not paranoid. They "believe all things" and offer others the benefit of the doubt. They are not fearful and suspicious, always expecting the worst (1Corinthians 13:7).

A person who loves hangs in there and perseveres. He or she has hope and is optimistic about what God has in store for his faithful children. Mature Christians are not "fair weather friends." They stick with you in your worst as well as your best moments.

One of the most important characteristics of mature Christian love is that it "never fails" (1Corinthians 13:8). Like the love of God itself, it is constant, unwavering, always there. A fully mature Christian has achieved a steady state of love. This kind of love is far greater than either faith or hope. It is the most concrete expression of spiritual maturity there is. Just as God never gives up on us (Philippians 1:6), we must learn not to give up on each other. We are not called to reject someone simply because we disagree on a point of doctrine, or an interpretation of facts or acts.

Where do we get the POWER to become mature?

Spiritual maturity also involves sensitivity to, and powerful leading by, the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us the capacity to love as God loves (as we learned earlier – Romans 5:5). The influence of the Spirit of God in a spiritually immature person is at best but a flickering ember. In the spiritually mature, it is a roaring flame. As we move deeper into obedience to God, the influence of the Holy Spirit grows greater. As Peter said,

"We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those that obey him." (Acts 5:32).

At the same time, it is the Holy Spirit that not only strengthens our faith but also enables us to more fully comprehend and be filled with God's love. The apostle Paul prayed:

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:16-19).

The Holy Spirit imparts the power of God to the people of God (Acts 1:8). It enables us to transcend our natural human capacities and limitations. The more of God's Spirit we have indwelling, the quicker we'll attain to spiritual maturity. Since the capacity to love in a godly way is a product of the Holy Spirit, so spiritual maturity is also its fruit.