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Was King David GAY?
Were King David and Jonathan lovers?


Was King David GAY?
Were King David and King Saul's son Jonathan lovers?

 

Q. Were Jonathan and David lovers or were they just the best of friends?

(Submitted by: Elaine)

A. It’s unfortunate that many people equate sex with love. Any two people can indulge in sex, but they don’t necessarily love each other. Such people are the ones who promote the idea of homosexuality between Jonathan and David.

Now comes a problem. These same people have an ally in the Hebrew language. The Hebrew word for love (âhab, Strong's Concordance #H157) in 1 Samuel 18:1,3; 20:17, refers to having affection for, sexually or otherwise. Naturally those who see David and Jonathan as lovers conveniently overlook the otherwise.

They also overlook the fact that âhab is used elsewhere in the old testament for non-sexual love. In Genesis 22:2 God told Abraham to offer his son Isaac, whom he loved [âhab], as a sacrifice. With Abraham more than a hundred years of age, and Isaac being a young adult, this was not likely sexual love.

Isaac was old and blind when he called for his son, Esau, to shoot a deer and "make me savory meat, such as I love [âhab] ." (Genesis 27:1-4). Certainly nothing sexual in this.

Joseph was his father’s favorite son, and when his brothers saw their father loved [âhab] him more than the rest, they hated him (Genesis 37:3-4).

Possibly the most important consideration of the word love is in the ten commandments. God said,

"You shall make no graven images…you shall not bow down to them…for I am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children…and showing mercy to thousands of them that love [âhab] me." (Exodus 20:4-6; Deuteronomy 5:8-10)
In speaking to the Israelites, God said, ". . . you shall love [âhab] your neighbor as yourself." (Leviticus 19:18). If this sounds familiar it’s because Jesus said the same thing in Matthew 5:43 and other new testament scriptures. The Greek, in these scriptures, is agapaõ (agape), Strong's Concordance #G25 referring to loving in a social sense, or having benevolence toward a person.

In Deuteronomy 6:4-5 the nation of Israel was commanded to love [âhab] the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, and might.

So far the love has been between humans, or between humans and God. Now it’s the other way around: God says he will love [âhab] his people (Deuteronomy 7:13).

Other examples of âhab include Solomon, who loved the Lord (1 Kings 3:3); Uzziah loved animal farming (2 Chronicles 26:9-10); The king loved Esther more than all the women (Esther 2:17); David wondered how long the sons of men will love vanity (Psalm 4:2); Later he said, ". . . let them that love your name be joyful . . ." (Psalm 5:11); many people love violence (Psalm 11:5); but God loves righteousness (vs 7); There are those who love foolishness (Proverbs 1:22), and scorners don’t love anyone who corrects them (Proverbs 15:12); Those who are wise love their own lives (Proverbs 19:8); We’re also told not to love sleep lest we come to poverty (Proverbs 20:13).

There are examples of sexual love in the old testament, but generally other Hebrew words are used. I think, however, these examples are sufficient to indicate a deep friendship between Jonathan and David, and nothing more.

Answer By:  Les Turvey

 
Below are questions submitted in regard to the answer stated above.
Mr. Turvey's response follows these questions.
 
Q. While Les gives many great examples of how âhab can be used to describe love that has no base in sexuality, he forgets to discuss why David and Jonathan's relationship could not have been sexual. He also hasn't addressed the scriptures which suggest that there was more going on here than simply best friends (1Samuel 20:30, 41).

Perhaps there's not enough evidence here to prove that they were in love and attracted to each other separately, but I've seen no evidence to the contrary either. Would it not be intellectually honest to simply say that, instead of proclaiming it the way that fits your ideals better and not offering any biblical evidence to back it up?
 
A. You likely know the Biblical accounts mentioned quite well. It is important, however, to review them as a lead-in to the response to your questions.

God commanded King Saul to get rid of the Amalekites, killing man, woman, child, and even the livestock (1 Samuel 15:1-3). But Saul had other ideas. He killed the people, but spared the Amalekite king, and some of the animals (verse 9).

When Saul met Samuel, he said, "I have done what the lord commanded" (1 Samuel 15:13). Samuel wasn’t buying it, and asked about the animal sounds he heard (verse 14). Saul wasn’t about to take the blame. He said, "They….The people spared the best animals to sacrifice to the Lord your God, but we destroyed the rest (verse 15)."

Saul not only rejected the commandment of God, but rejected the Lord as his God. He said the people wanted to sacrifice the animals to "your" God.

Samuel countered, "Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? . . . Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you from being king." (1 Samuel 15:22-23)

As Samuel left, Saul grabbed his robe, and it ripped. Samuel said, "[In the same way my robe has been torn], the Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you, and given it to a neighbour of yours who is better than you." (verses 27-28).

What an insult! Not only would Saul lose his kingship, his successor would be someone who, God said, was a better man than Saul.

It didn’t take place that day. In fact Saul remained king until his death. You likely know the story about David coming to Saul’s palace, killing Goliath, and being honoured by the women more than Saul (1 Samuel 18:7). Saul was a violent and angry man and, several times, tried to kill David out of insane jealousy.

Jonathan should have been the heir to the throne, but Saul’s disobedience changed that. When Saul realized David would be his successor, he hated the idea that Jonathan would have him as his best friend. Using today’s vernacular Saul said, "You son of a bitch." "I know you've chosen to be loyal to that son of Jesse. You should be ashamed of yourself! And your own mother should be ashamed that you were ever born (1 Samuel 20:30 Contemporary English Version)" Saul spoke of a matter of loyalty, not of a sexual relationship.

Then there’s the archery scene which told David whether it would be safe to stay in the city. The outcome was David would have to leave, and perhaps never see Jonathan again.

Despite knowing he would, one day, wear the crown, David was honourable to the king as long as he lived. In one instance, while Saul was sleeping in a cave, David crept in and cut off the hem of his robe, when he could just as easily have killed him. Why didn’t he? After all, Saul was out to kill him. Yet shortly after, David bowed to Saul, and called him "My lord the king." (1 Samuel 24:8). He recognized Saul as still being God’s anointed (1 Samuel 24:6).

David was also honourable to Jonathan as the apparent heir to the throne. That’s why he bowed himself three times in reverence as he approached his friend.

Yes, they kissed each other. Maybe they kissed on the lips, but they more likely kissed the cheeks as has been the custom with men through many centuries, and in many cultures. It’s interesting that people who would think of their kiss as a sexual thing, would never consider the same of the kiss Judas gave to Jesus.

Four times the apostle Paul wrote we are to greet the brethren with a holy kiss (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26). Scholars have wrestled with this for years, without coming to a conclusion as to what a holy kiss is. Man to man? Woman to woman? Man to woman, and vice versa? Cheek, forehead, lips? One thing is certain, it would not be a sexual kiss, else it would lead Christians to break the adultery commandment (Exodus 20:14; Matthew 5:27-28).

David and Jonathan were in a field, and the treachery that awaited David made it vital that he leave quickly (1 Samuel 20:31). It certainly wasn’t the time for a lengthy encounter.

It’s easy to take one verse of scripture and say, "Aha!" But for those who claim the kiss in 1 Samuel 20:41 was homosexual in nature, haven’t read far enough. In verse 42 Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace. The Lord [watch] between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring forever." Children are not the result of homosexual relationships.

You’re right in saying, "Even if their relationship held no sexual relations whatsoever, their connection must have been intimate indeed if parting could cause this much distress." When you’ve lived seventy years you will have experienced the pain of a loved one leaving. But, even then, it really won’t be as distressful as the parting of David and Jonathan. They couldn’t pick up a telephone and contact each other, as we can. We can travel farther in a day to visit our friends, than they could in weeks,. Only through death might our parting be as distressful as David and Jonathan’s. Even so, we have photographs and other keepsakes to keep our loved one’s memory alive.

 
Additional Bible Study Materials
How can I prove homosexuality is wrong for women as well as men?
Lineage from Adam to King David to the Queen of England
Bible Study by Topic: SEX


 
 
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