Should God Choose Our Mate?

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Question: I always hear people saying that they are waiting for God to send them a mate. How much control do we have in this? Do we choose them first and then take the relationship to God?

Answer: God made Adam so that he did not have the problem you mention. Neither did many men in the Bible, since their mate was chosen, generally, by the fathers. We live, however, in the 21st century, and things have changed. Kids meet at all-night drunk parties, shack up, fight, have kids, fight, let welfare pay their way, and live in dingy third story walk-ups.

I suggest attending events where you are likely to find the greatest number of eligible mates, hopefully those who believe in God. These could be camps, church or school dances, big picnics, school clubs, church services (especially at churches other than your own if you have one) and so on.


Finding a mate

Another good way to possibly find a person to date and maybe to mate with would be to volunteer your time at worthy causes that already have people your age helping others out. You might just find someone compatible with you.

God creating mate for Adam
God creating Eve for Adam
Michelangelo, 1509 - 10

Take time to chat and listen to the girls. Ask questions that will get them talking about themselves, their hopes, their dreams. Don't volunteer to talk about yourself until they ask. You have to make them the most important person in the conversation.

When you pray to God tell him about the young ladies you got to know then humbly ask for his aid in order to decide which of them (if any) might be a possible mate. Whatever you do, don't sit on your front porch waiting for God to send you someone. You'll wait a long time, and about the only thing he'll send is rain and snow.

Important principles

An important principle in dating can be found in 1Samuel 16:7 where God admonishes the prophet Samuel not to judge someone by their outward appearance or looks but rather by their character. The most gorgeous girl at the gathering won't likely make as good a mate as the plain Jane who seldom gets asked for a date.

Attitude

Finally, when you and God decide who will be your life's partner, treat her like Johnny Lingo treated his bride in the following tale. In an island country where wives were purchased, the normal asking price was four cows, with five or six required if the woman was especially beautiful. Johnny Lingo, however, paid eight cows for a skinny, hesitant, shy woman who walked with her shoulders hunched and her head down. Everyone in the village was amazed.

Several months after the wedding Johnny's mate had transformed into a beautiful, poised, and confident woman. Johnny explained, "What matters most is what a woman thinks of herself. I wanted an eight-cow wife, and when I paid that for her, and treated her that way, she discovered she was worth more than any other woman in the islands."

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