"Co-habiting relationships, by their nature, appear to be less fulfilling than marital relationships. People who co-habit say they are less satisfied and more likely to feel depressed ..... While the precarious finances of many co-habiters has something to do with it, [another factor is] the inherent lack of stability. Long-term co-habitation is rare: most couples either break up or marry within five years ..... As a result, co-habitation is not an ideal living arrangement for children. Emotionally or academically, the children of co-habiters just don't do as well, on average, as those with two married parents, and money doesn't fully explain the difference ..... Co-habitation rates may be skyrocketing, but Americans are still entirely enchanted with marriage. That's a sharp contrast with some Western societies - Sweden, France or the Canadian province of Quebec, for example -- where co-habitation is beginning to replace marriage... In the United States, 90% of young people are still expected to tie the knot at some point."
Does a sexual relationship mean a person is 'married in the eyes of God'? The concept that couples living together who have sex are married before God is widely believed in some religious circles. It has merit in the sense that the married state is a relationship initiated by the Creator and is His choice for all of mankind. Most cultures, indeed, are predominantly monogamous - one man married to one woman, and for life.
In a discussion on divorce, Jesus agreed with this, going on to say "What God has joined man should not separate" (Matthew 19:6). Note - not whom but what God has joined. The state of marriage is God's choice, He ordained the marriage relationship. He does not individually enter into every marriage! All marriages in the divine economy are to be monogamous and for life. Increasingly, however, human frailty fails to comply - thus forfeiting the full value of the marriage relationship.
Marriage is a coming together of a man and a woman to complete one another, to become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24) - emotionally, intellectually, spiritually as well as sexually. Clearly the latter is important, for among God's initial instructions to the first couple was to "be fruitful and multiply." It is through the enlargement of the human race that God's purpose for humanity is fulfilled - for we all have the potential to become sons and daughters of the Almighty.
Marriage, then, is not to be taken lightly. This has been recognized through the millennia, and, to 'cement' the union, it is usually surrounded by elaborate, public ceremony with commitment to permanence and enforced by social norms. The breakdown of this pattern, especially in the Western world, has contributed to the decadence and decay of our civilization.
It can be seen, then, that sexual union by itself is far removed from an authentic - and Godly - marriage. The evidence above suggests mere co-habitation falls short on all counts.
But what of fornication? The Greek word porneia is in the New Testament translated so. In essence it is all forms of illicit sexual activity - in or out of marriage. (Any behavior that falls short of divine standards is 'illicit'.) Anyone who promiscuously persists in habitually having multiple sexual partners is a 'fornicator' (elsewhere translated 'whoremonger'), and is until repentance excluded from God's Kingdom. When such practices are permanently abandoned, they can, in Christ, be forgiven. It is doubtful that a heterosexual couple in a stable co-habitation situation is guilty of 'fornication' - though it falls short of the glory of God, and does not reflect the divine purpose of commitment to a life-long marriage. |
