In another place he says that he laid down his own life and that it was not taken from him without his permission: "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. " (1John 3:16)
To continue this point one step further, Paul wrote in Ephesians: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her . . ." (Ephesians 5:25)
God commanded men to love in the same way that Jesus loved us. This assures women that they will not receive abuse and makes it very easy for her to submit to him. | |  Jewish marriage contract | | So what does Jesus' behavior have to do with being a good submissive wife to your husband? Jesus is the spiritual wife in this relationship and he submitted his will unto the Father and trusted him to execute the plan that they both discussed before the Creation came into being. Should not wives be doing the same? The only reason that a wife would not is if she is mistreated, abused or betrayed. God condemns treachery, which is the treatment Jesus received from his enemies.
"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. " (Romans 12:18) "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. " (Romans 12:18) Even in a marriage relationship, we are not to live under turmoil but in peace. If this is not happening, we need to leave this kind of relationship. "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. " (1Corinithans 7:15) |
Being submissive is a voluntary behavior. Forcing submission because someone judges a woman as rebellious is not right. The men who do this have betrayed the trust of their sisters and aunts and wives and daughters. They have sold them into bondage to another person without the woman's express permission (in the case of arranged marriages for political or economic reasons) and cooperation. Many women, used for sexual or economic reasons, become divorced for some selfish whim. A God who loves his daughters and his sons does not want humans to treat each other in this manner. We are told to love our neighbor as ourselves and to treat them as we would want to be treated (Matthew 19:19 and other places). In a marriage relationship, your closest neighbor is your spouse. In another place, Paul warns us that adultery (a form of betrayal) causes the sinner to be grieved in his own soul. "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man (or woman) does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. " (1Corinithans 6:18)
The word 'submit' means to put oneself in another person's hands. Chaos happens when everyone is trying to lead at the same time. So one person has been designated by God (Genesis 3:16) in each family to be the lead and the other to put themselves in the leader's trusting hands. God has given this role of leadership to the husband of each wife. The wife is not less in intelligence or talent but is weaker as a physical vessel. "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, (women and men think differently and their bodies react differently) giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." (1Peter 3:7)
A man’s eternal life is in jeopardy if there is a hindrance in his prayers. Her role is to carry and care for the children that will come from this relationship. If a man loves his wife as himself, which is what Jesus told them to do, then it is not very difficult for the wife to submit and trust him to make final family decisions. In some cases when the woman has more expertise on some issue then he is expected to submit to her so that there is peace in the family: "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is . . . "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her . . . "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. "For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:17, 22-25, 28, 30-33)
We are NEVER to lord it over each other for any reason: "But Jesus called them to Himself and said, 'You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. YET IT SHALL NOT BE SO AMONG YOU; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. . .' " (Matthew 20:25-26)
This would apply just as well in a marriage relationship or any relationship for that matter. To be submissive is not just for females but also for us all. We learn and grow from talking to each other whether a husband and wife or brother and sister or mother and father with their children and are told to keep a humble and contrite heart. We are to develop relationships of trust and confidence and respect with all men so there is an element of submission in everything we do. Jesus submitted to the Father's will until he died and then The Father put all authority under the feet of Jesus. Wives should submit to their own husbands and they should love them so much that they in turn give much authority, trust, and confidence in their opinion. The time worn adage is still true that says, "The one who rocks the cradle rules the world." Women today have almost given up their role as first teacher to their children and have forsaken the role of wife and mother for the world of work. Therefore, to understand the meaning of being submissive from God's perspective we must first submit to God and do as he has instructed so that we may all benefit from a lifetime of blessings. After reading this for proofing purposes my sweet husband suggested I insert something about the one scripture that states what an ideal wife is. This scripture is found in Proverbs 31: "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. "She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. "Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.' "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." (Proverbs 31:10-31)
This scripture is a metaphor for the purest of marriage relationships between the Church or Body of the Christ and the Godhead as the Husband stated above. It is an ideal situation that humans without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit cannot do. Therefore, to make a woman feel guilty by quoting this ideal scripture is unfair in our present state of mortality with human carnal nature embedded within us. We may strive for this kind of relationship but will never achieve it in our human lifetimes. Thank you for submitting your question about what is means for wives to submit to their husbands. |