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My four-year-old has become very defiant.
At what age can parents discipline children with spanking? What behavior warrants spanking? Q. I am a mother of two children. My four-year-old has become very defiant and disrespectful. At what age can we, as parents, discipline our children with spanking? And, in a society where spanking is considered child abuse, how do I know that her bad behavior warrants a spanking? Where can I look in the bible for some guidelines? (Submitted by: Tracy) A. Your question will be answered in three parts: 1. To answer the first question consider cause and effect. Since the family atmosphere has not been one of calmness, your daughter is simply acting out her responses to it. She is too young to convey her feelings in words 2. To consider the age and knowing when the bad behavior warrants discipline with a spanking, turn to the Old Testament to the Proverbs where wise King Solomon gives us principles to follow in our everyday life. (As a side, it would be good to read a Psalm and a Proverb each day to allow all these practical and usable Scriptures become a part of our mind-set.) " If you refuse to discipline your son [or daughter], it proves you don't love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him." (Prov 13:24, The Living Bible (TLB)) This definitely puts the responsibility on you as the parent with the words, "If you refuse to discipline. . . " As a parent who
loves their child, you probably know their attitude more than a stranger. Allowing the child to have the control with their bad behavior then is not showing them love. Be sure to
convey that you love them before the spanking so they will know you are not spanking in anger but in love. This may take a little practice. Don't get discouraged. You may have to count
to 10 before actually spanking on your part of the session, so it won't be in anger. Then again, if it is done promptly, as is mentioned in this scripture, you may not need to do the
counting. It is very important that it is done promptly, as a young child has a very short memory. Also, you may want to say a short prayer to ask God for the wisdom and self-control
to discipline your child in love. |
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