Dogs, Cats and Other Animals
Humorous Quotes

Atheists    -    Death    -    Dogs & Cats
Growing Old    -    Marriage    -    Money
Stupidity    -    Success    -    MORE!
The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
Samuel Butler
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
If the earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything off by now.
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
August Strindberg

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
George Eliot
The dinosaur's eloquent lesson is that if some bigness is good, an over-abundance of bigness is not necessarily better.
Eric Johnston
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
Men should stop fighting among themselves and start fighting insects.
Luther Burbank
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophiliac, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
Joseph Krutch
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn no other way.
Mark Twain
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
If called by a panther . . . don't anther.
Ogden Nash
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous Huxley
Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.
Andre Malraux
You want a friend in Washington D.C.? Get a dog.
Harry Truman, U.S. President

A dog will sit beside you while you work. A cat will sit on the work.
Pam Brown
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
If a dog jumps onto your lap it is because he is fond of you, but if a cat does the same thing it is because your lap is warmer.
A.N. Whitehead
Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.
Oliver Gaspirtz
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Mary Bly
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
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Biblical Humor!
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Jesus Laughs!   -   A Pain in the Rear
Lost in Translation   -   Laughter's Son
Paul's Cutting Correction
Elijah Mocks Prophets!   -   The Big Lie
Fools of Corinth   -   God Mocks Sinners
Paul's Funny Word Play

Humorous Quotes!
Atheists    -    Children    -    Death
Dogs & Cats    -    God and Man
Growing Old    -    Life's Lessons
Marriage    -    Money    -    Relationships
Stupidity    -    Success & Fame
Best of the Rest!

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