King James Bible Humor

Jesus Laughs!    -    Pain in the Rear
Paul's Humor    -    Sinners Mocked
Atheism Humor   -   Funny Marriage   -   More!
The venerable King James Bible, which is more than 400 years old, is a masterpiece of literature. That said, its archaic language and poor translation in certain spots, especially in the Old Testament, lends itself to humor.

While some words and phrases in the KJV translation strike our 21st century minds as strange, others convey imagery that is a bit humorous. Below are some of the many hidden examples of Biblical text that some will find amusing.

Suck on what . . . ?

Thou shalt also suck the milk of the Gentiles, and shalt suck the breast of kings . . . (Isaiah 60:16, KJV throughout).

What does Isaiah 60:16's admittedly weird and humorous mental images mean?

The context of the verse is the Second Coming of Christ and his offering of repentance (Isaiah 59:18 - 21). Jesus, during His Millennial rule, will cause countless blessings to come upon those who become spiritual Israelites (i.e. converted Christians, 60:1 - 15). Verse 16's symbolism is meant to convey the fact that one of these blessings will be receiving the finest riches and care that the Gentiles (non-Israelites) and rulers can offer.

Samson's new bride´╗┐

Samson, at his wedding banquet, poses a riddle to thirty of his male guests (Judges 14). If they answer correctly, they get a new change of clothes, but if they fail, they each have to give him new clothes.

Out of the eater came forth food, and out of the strong came forth sweetness (Judges 14:14).

The men, who are at a loss regarding the riddle's meaning, secretly solicit help from the bride. She is grudgingly told the answer by Samson after pestering him for several days. She then conveys it to the thirty wedding guests. They then, pretending they are guessing, give the correct answer to Samson (which is based on Judges 14:8 - 9). He is, however, aware of their trickery and states the following.

If ye had not plowed with my heifer, ye had not found out my riddle (Judges 14:18).

A heifer is a 1+ year old cow that has not yet produced a calf. Although men might find Samson's analogy humorous, referencing a wife as a "heifer" in today's world would likely bring their wrath upon them!

Lusty men

What do you think of when you hear the phrase "lusty men?" Does it conjure up an image of young men who like to party hard and fight even harder, like those in the stories of Robin Hood and his Merry Men?

A man called Ehud, a rare left-handed fighter, is called by God to free his people from eighteen years of Moabite oppression (Judges 3:12 - 15). He is able to successfully rally the Israelites against their oppressor and lead them to victory. The Bible then records the following description of his victory.

And they (the Israelites) slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all LUSTY, and all men of valor . . . (Judges 3:29).

The Hebrew word shamen (Strong's Concordance #H8082), translated as "lusty" in Judges 3:29, does not describe those who have an ardent zest for life (or who possess an intense sexual appetite). This word is meant to describe those who are greasy (those who are gross), fat, wealthy and well-off!

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Spelling Errors in King James Bible
Cities With Multiple Names in Scripture
Comparison of Bible Translations
Should the Bible Matter?
Are There Lost Books of the Bible?
Is Church Fundraising Wrong?
Is Lust the Devil's First Sin?

Bible Humor
Jesus Laughs!   -   Pain in the Rear
Apostle Paul's Humor   -   God Mocks Sinners
Elijah Mocks Prophets!   -   A Big Lie
Unusual Names   -   Son of Laughter
Fools of Corinth   -   Paul's Word Play
Archaic King James

Funny Quotes
Atheists    -    Children    -    Dogs & Cats
Growing Old    -    Marriage    -    Money

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