I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me: they're cramming for their final exam.
You don't grow old; when you cease to grow, you are old.
Charles Judson Herrick
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
Stop whining about getting old. It's a privilege. A lot of people who are dead wish they were still alive.
When I turned two, I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, "If this keeps up, by the time I'm six, I'll be ninety."
Now that I'm older, the greatest question I ask myself is, "Will this activity require me to wear pants?"
How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me half a calendar.
A man of fifty is responsible for his face.
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even is that makes my sons illegitimate.
Nancy Lady Astor
I am not young enough to know everything.
Life would be infinitely happier is we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one that will get you home earlier.
The young man knows the rules but the old man knows the exceptions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
By the time a man gets well into his seventies his continued existence is a mere miracle.
Robert Louis Stevenson
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
Charles M. Schulz
All ballplayers should quit when it starts to feel as if all the baselines run uphill.
At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.
You can be young without money, but you can't be old without it.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Zsa Zsa Gabor, when asked which of the Gabor women was the oldest, said, "She'll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama."
Laughter is the best medicine for a long and happy life. He who laughs - lasts.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, but not enough.
A man is usually bald four or five years before he knows it.
Edgar Watson Howe
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.