Atheists (Atheism) Quotes

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An atheist is a man who looks through a telescope and tries to explain what he can't see.
O.A. Battista
On a gravestone . . .
Here lies an atheist: All dressed up and no place to go!
Anonymous
An atheist's most embarrassing moment is when he feels profoundly thankful for something, but can't think of anybody to thank for it.
Mary Ann Vincent
I believe Satan to exist for two reasons; first, the Bible says so; and second, I've done business with him.
D. L. Moody

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist there is no God.
Heywood Campbell Broun
If you don't believe in the devil's existence, just try resisting him for a while.
Charles Grandison Finney
I am an atheist. I don't believe in Zeus!
Anonymous Graffiti
The agnostic's prayer: "O God, if there is a god, save my soul, if I have a soul."
Joseph Ernst Renan
Atheists put on a false courage and alacrity in the midst of their darkness and apprehensions, like children who, when they fear to go in to the dark, will sing with fear.
Alexander Pope
The primary cause of unhappiness in the world today is . . . lack of faith.
Carl Jung
When science discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find they are not it.
Bernard Baily
When we lose God, it is not God who is lost.
Anonymous
People see God every day, they just don't recognize him.
Pearl Bailey
He who proselytizes in the cause of unbelief is basically a man in need of belief.
Eric Hoffer
For the believer, there is no question; for the non-believer, there is no answer.
Anonymous

An act of goodness, the least act of true goodness, is indeed the best proof of the existence of God.
Jacques Maritain
Every effort to prove there is no God is in itself an effort to reach for God.
Charles Edward Locke
Atheists think they are wise in believing God is not real. God's view, however, is that the reports of his non-existence are greatly exaggerated.
Anonymous
I could prove God statistically.
George Gallup
The religion of the atheist has a God-shaped blank at its heart.
H. G. Wells
Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.
Augustine
Doctors are busy playing God when so few of us have the qualifications. And besides, the job is taken.
Bernie S. Siegel, MD
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
Henry Emerson Fosdick
What men usually ask God when they pray is that two and two not make four.
Anonymous
Two guppies were flitting about in a tank when one of them announced that he no longer believed in God. The other guppy was aghast and said, "All right, don't believe in God, but then you tell me who changes the water!"
Anonymous

By night an atheist half-believes in God.
Edward Young
Most people past college age are not atheists, because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
I was raised an atheist. Every Sunday we went nowhere. We prayed for nothing. And all our prayers were answered.
Heidi Joyce
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
Thank God I am an atheist.
Luis Bunuel
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